Confusing times.....

Not sure where I am going to go with this, but here goes. I have always thought of my self who takes friendships very seriously and that I would never take advantage of one. Especially beinhg in a military situation you need your firends more tahn ever. It has been brought to my attention taht I may have abused my friendship with someone who measn alot to me without evne realizing it. I guess I need to start from the beginning. Mark has always been the most important thing in my life. Even when we were dating we spent all of our time together. Now I know that some people will see that as unhealthy and kind of co dependent. But you have to understand I had never expeirenced love like that and it was something that made me feel alive and new. I wanted to spen all of my free time with him, and now that we are married I guess people say that things change and that you learn to do things on your own, but I have not gotten to that point. When My husband is here I want to be with him and spend every waking moment with him. The past two years have been so uncertain. It started with a deployment to Haiti and then Iraq and then six months later Iraq again. Its not like he was going on a business trip to Arkansas, he was going into the bowels of hell. Anyway, I have digressed. Being a military spouse for the past nine years I have learned a few things. Especially 7 of those 9 years being in a place where your husband is gone most of the time and you arefar away from family and hometown friends. I have learned to do things on my own and be ok with being alone when he is not around, I have also learned that we as military spouses take care of each other when our husbands are gone. We embrace each other and talk and laugh and cry and do whatever it takes to get thru the deployment. I have also learned that when the men come home its time to back off a bit and enjoy every moment with your husband. Now, this does not mean that your friendship with the girls you spent time with goes to shit, it just means that every one is ok and busy now that their husband is home and its ok to back off just a bit and enjoy being a family again. It does not for a nanosecond mean that my friendships meant nothing to me, I love each and everyone of my friends. Especially with this past deployment schedule. There was such a small amount of time between deployments that if I did fall off the face of the earth here and there that was ok because I knew the love of my life was going to be leaving me again soon and for one of the most dangerous places in Iraq. I think I am beginning to ramble, I guess the point I amtrying to make is, I love my friends and I would never in a million years do anything to hurt them, but I cannot apologize for being in love with my husband and wanting to be with him 24/7, when I know that it wont always be that way. To all my firends out there, I want you to know that I love you and that you mean the world to me, and if you dont hear from me for awhile when Mark is home please dont take it personally, its just that our time is so precious and I value it. Until next time.....